We went up to NY a couple of weekends ago. We hadn't been up there since before we got pregnant, which was a lifetime ago. I was nervous about the trip. I wasn't in a good place and was afraid of the feelings that would be stirred up by going there. But this is the time of firsts (first time for things since we lost the baby). And this was the first trip to my parents' since then.
Well, I had a horrendous breakdown while we were there. John and I went for a run on a trail close to my parents' house. It's really nice and soft, we really enjoy running there. I was looking forward to it. If I haven't mentioned it before, running has been pretty emotional for me since I started back, for a number of reasons. But I had been all right for a while, running was becoming my thing again. But for some reason, I lost it out on that trail.
I really had a breakdown. I was hyperventilating and everything. I just wanted to lay on the trail and stay there forever. I was imagining myself staying there as it got dark and I just wanted to sit there in the dark. John, of course, wasn't about to leave me there and somehow I made it back to the car. I was able to get myself together and we were able to actually enjoy the rest of the weekend.
The strangest thing is that I somehow feel more at peace after that breakdown. I left a huge piece of my hurt out on that trail. I'm not saying I'm 100% and all is great, but I feel more at peace with my life and how things are for us now. Don't get me wrong, I still get upset and have my moments. I had a panic attack in Ikea yesterday. Sometimes it feels like the entire world is pregnant and I was surrounded by about 20 of them in Ikea yesterday. I thought I was going to explode.
But I made it through. I guess that's the thing. I feel like I'm making it through. I can laugh a little deeper now, smile a little longer. My crying spells don't last as long. I hope it continues. I'm really nervous about how things will be as we approach the holidays and my due date. All I can do is honor how I feel and go with it.
But I'm thankful for my friends and family for being there for me. Without you I wouldn't be able to start making peace with this. I love you.
Showing posts with label Ikea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ikea. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, June 2, 2008
Eat It
What a weekend!
My parents came down for a visit this weekend and it was quite fun. On Friday, we went to the park with Mary and Noah, then had dinner and hung out. It was so nice to just hang out. Considering the last time I saw them was when my grandmother passed away, and there was so much stuff to deal with, this nice laid back visit was awesome.
Saturday, John and I went running with some friends. We never get to run together anymore, so it was nice. It's funny because most people go out for a date to a movie or something when they have the grandparents in town. We go running. Hey, it works for us. After our run, we went home, had breakfast and got cleaned up. Then we went shopping! For some reason, we always go shopping with my parents. It's fun. We went to REI to get Keller his sandals for the summer. OMG! I thought I was going to lose my mind. The store was busy, so it took a million years just to have someone help us. Then we had to get Keller's little feet measured. By the time it was our turn, he was spent, so we had to chase him around and force him to stand in that foot measuring device (which is actually called a Brannock device for those of you who care). Then we had to wait another million years for the person to actually get the shoes. Finally, we tried them on, and Keller tested them by running around the store and up and down the stairs. It was ridiculous. But his little shoes are so darn cute!
After that, my dad and John took Keller home for a nap and my mom and I continued shopping. When we were done, we went home and I got ready for my girls night.
Nine of us got all dressed up, went to dinner at Guapo's and then saw Sex in the City. It was a great time. The movie was cute, I cried. But I think it was the Sangria from dinner and not the movie itself. But I enjoyed it. It was just really nice to be out with the girls.
Sunday, we went to Ikea. I LOVE Ikea. I have been in an anti-clutter mode for a while with rearranging furniture and throwing stuff away. But I really needed to do something with our kitchen. Anyway, we went to Ikea and got some pantry cabinets and some other things to make our den more clutter-less. Once we were home, my parents left and we started getting things together with our new pantries.
As we were putting things together, Keller, who never took a real nap, was running around the house like a crazed lunatic. Seriously, it was like he ate a pound of sugar. Well, he was running around and runs into the living room where John is working on one of the pantry cabinets and Keller proceeds to tell him, "Eat shit, Papa." Um...what?
Yes, we heard correctly. Keller told his father to eat shit. And what's more, it was completely unprovoked. John was just doing his thing and Keller came in and said that. If it wasn't worrisome that he's going to say that to one of his teachers or little friends, it would be hysterical.
And who do we have to blame? Well, my parents of course. When my parents banter back and forth, it usually ends with an "Eat shit" or two. While they are in love and have been married for almost 40 years, they bicker like you wouldn't believe. But it's all said in jest. Anyway, they are the only two people that I hear saying that, so I know they must have said it in Keller's presence this weekend. But when I told my mother about it, she tried to blame me! I never say that! The nerve!
Anyway, my child now has the mouth of a trucker and he's probably going to get kicked out of school. And he's not even three.
My parents came down for a visit this weekend and it was quite fun. On Friday, we went to the park with Mary and Noah, then had dinner and hung out. It was so nice to just hang out. Considering the last time I saw them was when my grandmother passed away, and there was so much stuff to deal with, this nice laid back visit was awesome.
Saturday, John and I went running with some friends. We never get to run together anymore, so it was nice. It's funny because most people go out for a date to a movie or something when they have the grandparents in town. We go running. Hey, it works for us. After our run, we went home, had breakfast and got cleaned up. Then we went shopping! For some reason, we always go shopping with my parents. It's fun. We went to REI to get Keller his sandals for the summer. OMG! I thought I was going to lose my mind. The store was busy, so it took a million years just to have someone help us. Then we had to get Keller's little feet measured. By the time it was our turn, he was spent, so we had to chase him around and force him to stand in that foot measuring device (which is actually called a Brannock device for those of you who care). Then we had to wait another million years for the person to actually get the shoes. Finally, we tried them on, and Keller tested them by running around the store and up and down the stairs. It was ridiculous. But his little shoes are so darn cute!
After that, my dad and John took Keller home for a nap and my mom and I continued shopping. When we were done, we went home and I got ready for my girls night.
Nine of us got all dressed up, went to dinner at Guapo's and then saw Sex in the City. It was a great time. The movie was cute, I cried. But I think it was the Sangria from dinner and not the movie itself. But I enjoyed it. It was just really nice to be out with the girls.
Sunday, we went to Ikea. I LOVE Ikea. I have been in an anti-clutter mode for a while with rearranging furniture and throwing stuff away. But I really needed to do something with our kitchen. Anyway, we went to Ikea and got some pantry cabinets and some other things to make our den more clutter-less. Once we were home, my parents left and we started getting things together with our new pantries.
As we were putting things together, Keller, who never took a real nap, was running around the house like a crazed lunatic. Seriously, it was like he ate a pound of sugar. Well, he was running around and runs into the living room where John is working on one of the pantry cabinets and Keller proceeds to tell him, "Eat shit, Papa." Um...what?
Yes, we heard correctly. Keller told his father to eat shit. And what's more, it was completely unprovoked. John was just doing his thing and Keller came in and said that. If it wasn't worrisome that he's going to say that to one of his teachers or little friends, it would be hysterical.
And who do we have to blame? Well, my parents of course. When my parents banter back and forth, it usually ends with an "Eat shit" or two. While they are in love and have been married for almost 40 years, they bicker like you wouldn't believe. But it's all said in jest. Anyway, they are the only two people that I hear saying that, so I know they must have said it in Keller's presence this weekend. But when I told my mother about it, she tried to blame me! I never say that! The nerve!
Anyway, my child now has the mouth of a trucker and he's probably going to get kicked out of school. And he's not even three.
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