Roller Coaster

This week definitely had its ups and downs. On the up side, Keller is doing MUCH better in school. He's made new friends and is feeling a lot more comfortable. I spoke with his teacher and he's initiating things during lunch and recess and is doing extremely well. He seems much happier when I pick him up and really has his confidence back. He starts flag football after school on Monday, and I know that will help. I think life in California is suiting Keller extremely well.

I, on the other hand, am having a hard time. I don't know why, exactly. I just can't get my groove. I haven't been sleeping and that's really taken a toll on me. I was dealing with a cold or allergies or something, and then some fun stomach issues, this week and that didn't make things any better. But now that Keller is settling in a little better, I'm hoping that reduced stress will help me too.

I have been doing a lot of reflection and thinking about my life situation and why I'm having a hard time here. Aside from my day-to-day life being so different here, I'm still adjusting to being a mom of 3. I have to keep reminding myself of that. We have infants now, not just one but two, and that changes everything. All the time. I can't just go for a run, and I can't just go meet friends for lunch. I have to plan things out pretty strategically to get things done. John and I were talking about that just last night. With twins, you have a lot of advanced planning before you can really do anything. For now, there's not a lot of spontaneity in life. I'm not complaining, it's just a shift from how things were before the babies arrived. And that makes it hard to really get out and meet new people. So I'm just trying to remind myself that I need to give myself a break. I had a really great network back in Maryland. Between my professional and personal lives, I was part of a great community. Now I have to build that community again. That is what is hard. I am working on building the professional community in between naps, school pick up, unpacking, etc., and it's tough. And I'm trying to build my personal community in between all of that! Needless to say, it hasn't been easy. But I need to remember that, though it will take time and it will be a while before we feel really connected to things here, it will happen. We have a great family and we're living in a great area, and we'll find our place here before long.

I am trying as best I can right now. There's a fun run at a local store here that I've joined. It's the flagship store for Running Skirts, and the girls there are a lot of fun. I've only been able to make 1 run so far since I've been here, but another time I was at the store, someone was getting ready to run so I tagged along with her. That was fun too. With 3 kids and only 1 car, getting there has proven difficult. But the important thing is that I'm trying :)

I also joined the moms of multiples group here. I'm hosting my first playgroup on Monday. I think that will definitely help. Not to knock moms of singletons, as I am one myself, but moms with only one baby at a time just don't get how different having twins is and all that's involved. It's not just about doing everything times 2, there's more to it than that and it gets very overwhelming. So getting to know some other moms with twins will be really great.

And in a couple of weeks my parents come for Keller's birthday! It will be great to see them and I think that will definitely help lift my spirits. No matter how old I am, I will always need my mom and dad!!

Clock Goes Round

There are some days where my biggest accomplishment is just getting out of the house in one piece.

I used to be such a punctual person. In fact, I was an on-time snob. I was never late for anything, and if I ever was, it was because of a catastrophic event. Well, that was before and this is now.

I am late for everything. Seriously, I just cannot be on time for anything anymore, no matter how hard I try. And I hate it. Hate, hate, hate.

This morning, we all got up a little late. I cannot get out of bed when Keller is still sleeping. It's unnatural. He has always been an early riser, and by this I'm talking about waking up at 5:00 in the morning, everyday. And he just doesn't "wake up," he is ready to take on the world, running around like his pants are on fire. So, when the chance to sleep in a little comes along, we're all over it. The past few mornings, Keller has slept until 7:00, which is pretty much our noon.

After we got up and had breakfast, it was crazy time. John and I getting ready, me trying to track down everything, and not finding anything. Seriously, I lost a pair of shoes. How do you lose shoes? I've always wondered that, when I see random shoes on the side of the road, how on Earth does that happen? Well, I'm sure my cute black heels are on the side of the road somewhere.

Anyway, we made it out of the house. Keller was a little late for school, but it was all right. They were doing their sign language session when we came in and he sat down and seemed to just get to it. As I was leaving, there was another little girl from his class coming in, so I didn't feel so bad.

I surprisingly made it to work on time. Traffic wasn't bad. As I was driving to my parking garage, I saw a fellow late person running down the street, waving her arms at something. Though, she was in worse shape than me because her underwear was hanging out of her pants and her hair was all wet. That instantly made me feel better. :)

Nothing like being late Monday morning.

I'm free

I feel like the last two weeks have been such a whirlwind. Between everything going on with my mom, with Keller's school, and life in general, I'm just spent. But now that things are starting to fall into place, I'm feeling better.

We found a school for Keller and he'll begin on August 25th. Yay! I can't wait, I think he'll love it. We decided on that before the long weekend, so we were able to enjoy ourselves with that huge weight off our shoulders.

The weekend itself was very fun. For the 4th, we went over to the Gies' house for a cookout. The kids were chaotic, which is always interesting. Keller actually stayed up to see the fireworks off our deck. We also saw a deer and Keller asked if he could tickle him, which was too cute.

Saturday we did a whole lot of nothing. I did my long run in the morning, when I got back, John went on his bike ride. Keller took a long nap (and I did too). Once everyone got up, we went over to Eric and Isabel's for another cookout. They just got the Wii game thing and we played that for a while. My back was sore the following day! But it was seriously fun.

Sunday we went to the Baltimore Aquarium with the Gies and Fiery families. That was fun. We walked around for about an hour and then went to the dolphin show. Keller loved the dolphins. He was enthralled the entire time. He actually sat still for 30 minutes! In fact, all three boys, Keller, Noah, and Landon, sat still. We all went out to lunch and then home for a long nap. After we got up, we headed over to the Silberman's for another cookout. Keller and Ava have a great time together.

It was such a nice weekend with friends. I love weekends like that. Seriously, why isn't every weekend and three-day weekend?

I'm So Tired

How is it that The Beatles have a song that fits every single situation? As you may or may not remember, I use song titles/lyrics/etc. as the titles of my posts (you're supposed to guess who sings it! It's a game!). I've been trying to mix it up and not put titles from The Beatles, but sometimes that's really all there is that fits.

I am so freaking glad this week is over and we have a 3-day weekend. Work wasn't necessarily busy, but it was hectic. Things just popping up here and there that need immediate attention. And in between busy days at work, I was looking at schools, making phone calls, and generally drowning in worry over Keller. But I believe we've found a school for him that will be wonderful. I feel really good about this place and I hope with everything that it will be all right for Keller.

Speaking of Keller, I do have a funny story to share. After school yesterday, I took Keller to the pool. I brought all his stuff and planned on changing him there in the restroom. But there was a swim meet going on and it was a little chaotic when we got there, so we just went straight to the pool. I was changing him in the corner by the edge of the area, next to the fence that surrounds the pool. I took his diaper off and he started to pee. I told him to stop, which he did, and we went over to the fence and I told him to pee out onto the grass. Which he did. I think he liked peeing through the fence. It was pretty hilarious.

So, even through crappy weeks, we can still manage to find something funny. And my sweet husband got me a gift of massages for the next 3 months! I am a lucky person. And I know things will work out in the end.

Happy Independence Day! Power to the People!

'Cause I Gotta Have Faith

Ok, so my last post was pretty bad. I'm sorry. Thank you to all my friends who checked up on me to make sure I hadn't gone over the deep end. I was really upset when I wrote that post. But I'm doing better now.

The weekend at my parents turned out to be really nice. My brother and sister-in-law came out for the weekend and we all had a great time. We did a whole lot of nothing other than just hanging out, eating, and catching up on life. Did I mention eating? It seems we were eating nonstop all weekend. I had a lot of ice cream, that's for sure. It's a good thing I like to run.

Speaking of running, John and I found these trails close to my parents' house that were awesome. It's a network of trails that literally go on for miles. We got lost for a while, but luckily found our way out. I can't wait to go back there and run on them again.

My mom is doing well. She can't eat a whole lot of solid food, but she is handling it very well. I tell you, my mom is a rock. She has been through so much this year and she just handles it like it's nothing. I wish I had even an ounce of her strength. She has been such an amazing role model for me. She just makes things happen in life and I so admire that. Mom, you're a rock star. I love you.

We have officially begun the search for new schools for Keller. The poor sweet baby doesn't like school anymore. He stayed home with John yesterday because the poor sweet baby got upset at the mention of school. I brought him today, but when we got there he said he didn't like school. I felt so bad leaving him there, but it will hopefully not be too much longer. I have an appointment tomorrow at a new place and we'll go from there. We're also beginning the funfest of potty training. In order for him to go into the next class he will most likely need to be potty trained. Any advice will be appreciated!

So, all in all, I'm doing all right. I have my moments, but I just have to remain positive that everything will work out. No one said it would be easy, you know how hard it has been, but the way things are going....oops. Sorry, I was singing a song (The Ballad of John and Yoko, for anyone wanting to know). But the words ring true.

Empty

We had the conference with Keller's teacher and the Director of the school this morning. It was strange and sad and I feel kind of lost right now.

They said that he is extremely intelligent for his age but he's having a very hard time expressing himself socially. He gets very overwhelmed when all of the kids are around and that is when he starts acting out. They had considered that he was bored and thought about moving him into the next room. But there are 20 kids in that class and he's already having a hard time with the 12 in his class. He does really well when there are only a few of the kids around but they all feel he gets overstimulated when everyone is around and it frustrates him.

They didn't necessarily say something was wrong with him. It's more a matter of not knowing what to do with him. He could be acting out due to the combination of being bored, not being able to express himself appropriately, not being able to adapt to changes in his environment (the new kids that entered the class are what sparked all of this), and biological changes (for instance, his teething and not sleeping well).

They suggested that we have him evaluated to determine if he does in fact have any developmental problems. In the meantime we're going to try and get him to sleep a little earlier and see if that helps anything. I mean, he gets about 9 hours of sleep a night and I guess that's not enough for him because he just gets so unruly at times.

Ugh. I just want him to be all right. I want him to be happy and healthy and well adjusted to the world. They said that he may be better suited to a school that has less kids in the class and more one-on-one interaction. And perhaps having him evaluated will let us know that he needs that type of treatment. I mean, he does so well when he's playing with a small group of kids. He doesn't have any problem. Maybe that will be the key.

I just want to sit here at my desk and cry.

Love hurts

I hate Tuesdays.

I know the more common day of dread is Monday. But I have always hated Tuesdays. It's just a useless day. Here's my take on the days of the week:

• Monday: There's hope for the new week.
• Tuesday: Stupid, useless day.
• Wednesday: Yay! Week is half over.
• Thursday: Yay! Tomorrow is Friday!
• Friday: Yay! It's the weekend.

This Tuesday sucked huge, giant, ass. I got a call from Keller's teacher and his behavior has gotten out of control at school. He was throwing fits, hitting other kids, and then he bit one of the other kids. WTF? My child actually bit another child.

I remember when we were in NH with our friends Stephanie, Russ and Erika a few summers ago and Lola nipped Stephanie. It was the first (and only) time Lola had ever nipped anyone. And Steph was fine, it wasn't a bad bite or anything. But I was so horrified. I couldn't believe my puppy bit someone.

Well, that's kind of how I feel right now. My sweet, wonderful little boy has become a menace to the kids in his class. My first instinct is to take him out of school and keep him home with me. But I know that wouldn't do any good for him. He thrives at school.

I know this kind of behavior is relatively common for young kids. They have a hard time expressing themselves at this age. But his school would still like to have a conference with us, which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Ugh.

Though, with all of this going on, I have just felt there has to be a reason for this behavior. He is not like this. On a hunch, I poked around his mouth and lo and behold! His second set of molars are coming in. That explains so much! He was such a terror when he was teething as an infant and young toddler. His first set of molars were simple and arrived unnoticed. But every other tooth in that kid's mouth brings back memories of fits and screams and tears. And that was just me.

So, we'll go to the conference tomorrow and hopefully they will have some ways to help us teach Keller how to better cope with his feelings. I love him so much, I just want him to be happy and healthy.

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

All right, people.

I realize this blog hasn't exactly been the most exciting thing in the world. But I'm trying. I put a poll on the site. Doesn't that count for something? Where the hell are ya?

Things in my neck of the woods have been pretty damn depressing. Let's face it, they've sucked. Too much death for my taste. But aside from that, I am always wondering if the things I would like to write about are all that interesting for anyone reading.

Like today, there was a water main break in Montgomery County and the whole freaking county has gone bananas. They've closed all the government buildings, one of which houses Keller's school, as well as put water-use restrictions out, and they've issued a water-boil advisory. You have to boil the water for a minute and then use it for anything that would cause you to consume the water. So, brushing your teeth, cooking, washing dishes, etc. But we're actually not allowed to do any of those things because of the water-use restrictions.

Almost all of the people in my office live in Prince George's or Anne Arundel County. They don't have any water problems right now. So, tomorrow, when I show up un-showered without my teeth brushed, I wonder what they'll think. Thank goodness for those Noxema wipes that don't require water.

I was reading the article on the Washington Post's website and the comments people are leaving are hysterical. Seriously, people have way too much time on their hands. Some people are basically saying that because MoCo is a rich county, it almost serves us right that we now have to boil our water before we drink it. Like Sharon Stone's karma comment. Also, we should stop bitching because there are people without clean water in third-world countries, blah blah blah. Look, I know that there are people worse off than us. But it's still a giant pain in the ass to deal with this whole thing. I'm not saying "why me" or anything. But I'd rather not have to deal with it, you know?

On another completely different note, Keller is at the point in his development where he will say things that are going to embarrass the hell out of me. For instance, yesterday morning, I happened to pass some gas (oh, like you don't) and he told me to stop pooping. Ha! Then, later in the day, we were at the pool and I got out of the water. You know how when you get out of the water, the water is dripping off of your body and legs and stuff? Well, Keller saw the water dripping off my legs and he said, out loud I might add, that I was pee pee-ing. Nice. Now everyone thinks I was peeing in the pool. Great.

There you go. Two extremely exciting stories from my life. Now vote in the poll!

Rico Suave

My child is a ladies' man.

There's a new little girl in Keller's class. Her name is Hailey and she's down-right adorable. She's so little and cute, with such a sweet little face. When I've picked Keller up from school, I've noticed the two of them playing together and having a grand old time. One time, they were chasing each other around outside and I had to literally drag Keller away from her. That should have tipped me off.

A couple of days ago, John picked Keller up from school. One of his teachers told him that Keller and Hailey are best friends. They play together all day and just have a good time together. They sit at the table together when they're having lunch and snacks. We thought it was pretty cute that Keller had a little love interest. We'd ask him about Hailey and if he loved her (yes), thought she was nice (yes), and liked to see her at school (yes). We were happy he was getting along well with his classmates.

Well, maybe he's getting along a little too well, if you know what I mean. Yesterday, when I arrived to pick Keller up from school, they were sitting at the table having their snacks. I usually just hang out and let him finish eating. While I'm sitting there, I talk with Keller's teachers to see how his day went. Here's the conversation:

Me: How was Keller's day today?

Teacher: Oh, it was good. Blah blah blah, I won't bore you with the details. (she didn't say that, I'm saying that to you, dear reader.)

Me: Oh, great.

Teacher: So, Keller and Hailey are best friends.

Me: I know, that's so cute.

Teacher: Yes, but when they play together, they kiss on the mouth.

Me: What?

Apparently, Keller and Hailey have started to kiss all day long. At first, they said it was cute how they kissed and they didn't really think anything of it. But then, each time they played together, they kissed! HA! I don't really think there's anything to it. But, what am I supposed to do? Do I laugh and make light of it because it's absolutely adorable? Or do I try and get him to stop? I don't want to make him not want to kiss girls! But at the same time, if he's kissing girls at 2, what is he going to do in high school?

I did have a "talk" with him. I asked him about kissing Hailey and he said he kissed her. I told him that her parents may not want her to kiss anyone at school. He didn't really pay attention. I'm interested to hear about his day today.

Keller and Hailey, sitting in a tree...