This week definitely had its ups and downs. On the up side, Keller is doing MUCH better in school. He's made new friends and is feeling a lot more comfortable. I spoke with his teacher and he's initiating things during lunch and recess and is doing extremely well. He seems much happier when I pick him up and really has his confidence back. He starts flag football after school on Monday, and I know that will help. I think life in California is suiting Keller extremely well.
I, on the other hand, am having a hard time. I don't know why, exactly. I just can't get my groove. I haven't been sleeping and that's really taken a toll on me. I was dealing with a cold or allergies or something, and then some fun stomach issues, this week and that didn't make things any better. But now that Keller is settling in a little better, I'm hoping that reduced stress will help me too.
I have been doing a lot of reflection and thinking about my life situation and why I'm having a hard time here. Aside from my day-to-day life being so different here, I'm still adjusting to being a mom of 3. I have to keep reminding myself of that. We have infants now, not just one but two, and that changes everything. All the time. I can't just go for a run, and I can't just go meet friends for lunch. I have to plan things out pretty strategically to get things done. John and I were talking about that just last night. With twins, you have a lot of advanced planning before you can really do anything. For now, there's not a lot of spontaneity in life. I'm not complaining, it's just a shift from how things were before the babies arrived. And that makes it hard to really get out and meet new people. So I'm just trying to remind myself that I need to give myself a break. I had a really great network back in Maryland. Between my professional and personal lives, I was part of a great community. Now I have to build that community again. That is what is hard. I am working on building the professional community in between naps, school pick up, unpacking, etc., and it's tough. And I'm trying to build my personal community in between all of that! Needless to say, it hasn't been easy. But I need to remember that, though it will take time and it will be a while before we feel really connected to things here, it will happen. We have a great family and we're living in a great area, and we'll find our place here before long.
I am trying as best I can right now. There's a fun run at a local store here that I've joined. It's the flagship store for Running Skirts, and the girls there are a lot of fun. I've only been able to make 1 run so far since I've been here, but another time I was at the store, someone was getting ready to run so I tagged along with her. That was fun too. With 3 kids and only 1 car, getting there has proven difficult. But the important thing is that I'm trying :)
I also joined the moms of multiples group here. I'm hosting my first playgroup on Monday. I think that will definitely help. Not to knock moms of singletons, as I am one myself, but moms with only one baby at a time just don't get how different having twins is and all that's involved. It's not just about doing everything times 2, there's more to it than that and it gets very overwhelming. So getting to know some other moms with twins will be really great.
And in a couple of weeks my parents come for Keller's birthday! It will be great to see them and I think that will definitely help lift my spirits. No matter how old I am, I will always need my mom and dad!!
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Karma Chameleon
Let's just get right down to it. People are rude. They may think they're being friendly or funny, but really, they're just rude.
Since having the girls, I have come across some really nice people. Complete strangers offer help and are really very nice. But there are also those people that are so ridiculous you wonder how they survive in the real world. If they say some of the rude things to me, a stranger, I can only imagine what they say to people they know.
The latest rude happening was at the post office the other day. Now, this is quite a tame example, but it's the most recent. I've certainly encountered worse, but this one is most fresh in my mind.
I was leaving the post office with the girls in their double stroller when a man offered to hold the door for me (not the rude part). As I walked through the door, he saw the girls and asked if they were twins. I said yes and smiled. I wondered to myself what could have possbly given it away that they were twins. Was it the fact that they are exactly the same size and shape? But I digress. The man asked if they were both girls. I smiled and said yes (because apparently the pink ribbons and bows weren't obvious enough). Here is what happened next:
Man: Are they both girls?
Me: Yes (smile)
Man: Oh, that's no good (no smile)
Me: You should think of the positives not the negatives (smile)
Man: You have 2 weddings to pay for. Better hope they marry rich.
Me: That's the way to think (not smiling)
I don't think he sensed the sarcasm in my statement.
Really, what would possess someone to say such a rude thing? First of all, I think I'm aware of my financial future with regard to my children. I've thought about it once or twice and I don't need rude men to point things out for me. Second of all, they are tiny little sweet babies and if we have to pay for 5 weddings between all 3 kids, then we'll find a way to make it work. They may not be the most lavish weddings and they may take place in our living room, but they will be the most wonderful living room weddings to ever take place. Mind your own business, people!
And, keep in mind, this scene doesn't even scratch the surface of rude. You'd be horrified at some of the things people have said or asked me in reference to my girls. It makes me cringe.
Since having the girls, I have come across some really nice people. Complete strangers offer help and are really very nice. But there are also those people that are so ridiculous you wonder how they survive in the real world. If they say some of the rude things to me, a stranger, I can only imagine what they say to people they know.
The latest rude happening was at the post office the other day. Now, this is quite a tame example, but it's the most recent. I've certainly encountered worse, but this one is most fresh in my mind.
I was leaving the post office with the girls in their double stroller when a man offered to hold the door for me (not the rude part). As I walked through the door, he saw the girls and asked if they were twins. I said yes and smiled. I wondered to myself what could have possbly given it away that they were twins. Was it the fact that they are exactly the same size and shape? But I digress. The man asked if they were both girls. I smiled and said yes (because apparently the pink ribbons and bows weren't obvious enough). Here is what happened next:
Man: Are they both girls?
Me: Yes (smile)
Man: Oh, that's no good (no smile)
Me: You should think of the positives not the negatives (smile)
Man: You have 2 weddings to pay for. Better hope they marry rich.
Me: That's the way to think (not smiling)
I don't think he sensed the sarcasm in my statement.
Really, what would possess someone to say such a rude thing? First of all, I think I'm aware of my financial future with regard to my children. I've thought about it once or twice and I don't need rude men to point things out for me. Second of all, they are tiny little sweet babies and if we have to pay for 5 weddings between all 3 kids, then we'll find a way to make it work. They may not be the most lavish weddings and they may take place in our living room, but they will be the most wonderful living room weddings to ever take place. Mind your own business, people!
And, keep in mind, this scene doesn't even scratch the surface of rude. You'd be horrified at some of the things people have said or asked me in reference to my girls. It makes me cringe.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Who Needs Sleep
My babies are 5 weeks old today!
It has flown by. I feel like a year has gone by since they were born.
The first two weeks were pretty good in that the babies were eating and sleeping well and we thought we had it made. They are still good babies, but they are definitely developing their temperament and flexing their fussy muscles. The worst time of the day is between 6:00 and 8:00pm when it's starting to get dark. I think they have a hard time transitioning from day to night. But the past 2 nights have been good. Hopefully that will continue.
My parents stayed with us for 4 weeks, which was amazing. I don't think we could have survived without them. It was helpful for me to get the sleep and rest I needed to recover from surgery. I have had a really hard time getting back on my feet. Being on bedrest for so long and then the surgery, I get tired quickly and my body just can't hold out for very long. Plus dealing with two babies at the same time is a very physical job. I'm up and down, running around everywhere. Just taking them out in the car seats is a strength training session. And feeding them at the same time is a full-contact sport.
So this was the first week without my parents here. I have to admit that I was terrified of being on my own with the babies. Dealing with newborn twins is extremely difficult and you don't know how hard it is until you're actually doing it. No amount of preparation can really prepare you. The exhaustion is just beyond belief. Right now the girls are eating every 2-3 hours, but sometimes it's less than 2 hours. Sometimes they're not on each other's schedule and I can feed one at a time. But I finish with one and then feed the other, so I'm never really done because so little time goes by before I need to feed the first one again. Then when they're on the same schedule and I have to feed both of them at the same time, it's insane. Seriously, there is nothing more stressful than trying to feed two babies at the same time.
In addition to this being my first week on my own, it was also Keller's spring break off school. So I was dealing with him as well. While he's fairly self-sufficient, he's still only 5 and needs help with things. Or just wants things. And has a lot of energy. A LOT of energy. There was one point where I was trying to feed both the babies at the same time and he's running around throwing toys in our faces. He also likes to stick his face in their face when they're sleeping...which usually wakes them up. Oh, it was a fun week.
But we survived. The girls are now starting to smile here and there. They're making more eye contact and interacting more. And I could just eat their cheeks. They're filling out more as they gain weight and their cheeks are getting round and delicious! It's only going to get better from here.
It has flown by. I feel like a year has gone by since they were born.
The first two weeks were pretty good in that the babies were eating and sleeping well and we thought we had it made. They are still good babies, but they are definitely developing their temperament and flexing their fussy muscles. The worst time of the day is between 6:00 and 8:00pm when it's starting to get dark. I think they have a hard time transitioning from day to night. But the past 2 nights have been good. Hopefully that will continue.
My parents stayed with us for 4 weeks, which was amazing. I don't think we could have survived without them. It was helpful for me to get the sleep and rest I needed to recover from surgery. I have had a really hard time getting back on my feet. Being on bedrest for so long and then the surgery, I get tired quickly and my body just can't hold out for very long. Plus dealing with two babies at the same time is a very physical job. I'm up and down, running around everywhere. Just taking them out in the car seats is a strength training session. And feeding them at the same time is a full-contact sport.
So this was the first week without my parents here. I have to admit that I was terrified of being on my own with the babies. Dealing with newborn twins is extremely difficult and you don't know how hard it is until you're actually doing it. No amount of preparation can really prepare you. The exhaustion is just beyond belief. Right now the girls are eating every 2-3 hours, but sometimes it's less than 2 hours. Sometimes they're not on each other's schedule and I can feed one at a time. But I finish with one and then feed the other, so I'm never really done because so little time goes by before I need to feed the first one again. Then when they're on the same schedule and I have to feed both of them at the same time, it's insane. Seriously, there is nothing more stressful than trying to feed two babies at the same time.
In addition to this being my first week on my own, it was also Keller's spring break off school. So I was dealing with him as well. While he's fairly self-sufficient, he's still only 5 and needs help with things. Or just wants things. And has a lot of energy. A LOT of energy. There was one point where I was trying to feed both the babies at the same time and he's running around throwing toys in our faces. He also likes to stick his face in their face when they're sleeping...which usually wakes them up. Oh, it was a fun week.
But we survived. The girls are now starting to smile here and there. They're making more eye contact and interacting more. And I could just eat their cheeks. They're filling out more as they gain weight and their cheeks are getting round and delicious! It's only going to get better from here.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Do You Want To Know A Secret?
I've been keeping a secret for many weeks now. But I think I finally have the courage to tell. John and I are pregnant. I'm over 20 weeks along now and I guess it's time to spill the beans.
Obviously, people in my in-person world know since I've been showing for a long time. But I have been reluctant to write anything about it because of everything we went through last year and what we've been through up to this point. It's been a tough road already. But I can't live my life waiting for something to happen and I deserve some happiness. I am hoping and praying that everything will be all right and I feel ready to talk about it.
We found out we were pregnant the day before the year anniversary of losing our baby. It was surreal. I had been taking tests all week and they were all negative. I wasn't going to take another one but since I had it, I might as well take it. It was faintly positive, which meant I needed to go buy 8 more tests. Which I took half when I got home (all positive) and half the next day (all positive). This was all on a Friday, so I didn't go to the doctor for a blood test until Monday. We had a nice family weekend and I went into the doctor's office first thing on Monday to have blood drawn.
The results came back in a couple of days and my hormone levels were high, which was a good sign. Then that Saturday we left for the beach. The vacation was fun, and I had a sonogram set up for the Tuesday after we got back. My doctor wanted to start monitoring me regularly because of my history.
Well, that Tuesday came and I had the sonogram. We saw the heartbeat and I was crying and it was wonderful. Then the technician saw something strange and was poking around. That something strange turned out to be another heartbeat...another baby. We're having twins. I was floored and in all honesty, here I am 3 months later and I still don't believe it half the time.
I was alone at the appointment since John had a meeting. But I drove right over to his office to tell him. He met me in the parking lot and here is a summary of our conversation:
I show him the sonogram pictures.
Me: Do you notice anything different than what we're used to seeing?
Him: No, should I?
Me: Keep looking.
Him: I don't see anything.
Me: John, we're having twins.
Him: You're shitting me.
And that pretty much sums it up. After a lot of exhaling and tears, we hugged and he had to get back to work. I called my parents and told them. They were shocked of course. In fact, I could hear my dad interjecting a "Holy shit" every now and then.
Needless to say, the past 20 weeks have been exciting, overwhelming, terrifying and worrisome. I had my cerclage surgery back in September and thankfully that all went well. I have a mack daddy cerclage. It's a permanent cerclage (most people get a temporary one that is removed before delivery). This is a crazy stitch that doesn't get removed (I have to have a c-section). The surgery was an insane 2-hour procedure and even though I was numb I was awake the entire time. I will not get into the actual experience of the surgery as it was quite awful. Thankfully the anesthesiologist talked to me the entire time or I would have been crying throughout the surgery. Recovery was tough on me and it was very painful. But my wonderful doctor is confident it was successful and after almost 2 months, it looks great. But we've still had our share of scary moments, including a trip to the emergency room a few weeks ago.
I won't get into tremendous detail, but I was having very similar symptoms to what I had when we lost the baby last year. Thankfully, all is all right and the babies are perfectly fine. I have what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage. It's common and I've had a couple throughout the pregnancy. But this one was dangerously close to one of the placentas and it was causing a lot of bleeding and cramping. So....I've been on bed rest since then (I'm in my 4th week of bed rest now). And thankfully it's working because it seems as though the bleed is either too small to see or it's gone. YAY!
So, I am still terrified that something will happen to prevent me from bringing home my babies. But I don't know if that will go away until I actually bring them home. All I can do is think positively, continue to pray and take care of myself. And that's what I'm doing. I feel like all of this has to be meant to be. To find out we're pregnant the day before the anniversary? And then to find out it's two? It's all too much to be a coincidence. I have to believe it's happening this time and everything we went through is behind us.
Obviously, people in my in-person world know since I've been showing for a long time. But I have been reluctant to write anything about it because of everything we went through last year and what we've been through up to this point. It's been a tough road already. But I can't live my life waiting for something to happen and I deserve some happiness. I am hoping and praying that everything will be all right and I feel ready to talk about it.
We found out we were pregnant the day before the year anniversary of losing our baby. It was surreal. I had been taking tests all week and they were all negative. I wasn't going to take another one but since I had it, I might as well take it. It was faintly positive, which meant I needed to go buy 8 more tests. Which I took half when I got home (all positive) and half the next day (all positive). This was all on a Friday, so I didn't go to the doctor for a blood test until Monday. We had a nice family weekend and I went into the doctor's office first thing on Monday to have blood drawn.
The results came back in a couple of days and my hormone levels were high, which was a good sign. Then that Saturday we left for the beach. The vacation was fun, and I had a sonogram set up for the Tuesday after we got back. My doctor wanted to start monitoring me regularly because of my history.
Well, that Tuesday came and I had the sonogram. We saw the heartbeat and I was crying and it was wonderful. Then the technician saw something strange and was poking around. That something strange turned out to be another heartbeat...another baby. We're having twins. I was floored and in all honesty, here I am 3 months later and I still don't believe it half the time.
I was alone at the appointment since John had a meeting. But I drove right over to his office to tell him. He met me in the parking lot and here is a summary of our conversation:
I show him the sonogram pictures.
Me: Do you notice anything different than what we're used to seeing?
Him: No, should I?
Me: Keep looking.
Him: I don't see anything.
Me: John, we're having twins.
Him: You're shitting me.
And that pretty much sums it up. After a lot of exhaling and tears, we hugged and he had to get back to work. I called my parents and told them. They were shocked of course. In fact, I could hear my dad interjecting a "Holy shit" every now and then.
Needless to say, the past 20 weeks have been exciting, overwhelming, terrifying and worrisome. I had my cerclage surgery back in September and thankfully that all went well. I have a mack daddy cerclage. It's a permanent cerclage (most people get a temporary one that is removed before delivery). This is a crazy stitch that doesn't get removed (I have to have a c-section). The surgery was an insane 2-hour procedure and even though I was numb I was awake the entire time. I will not get into the actual experience of the surgery as it was quite awful. Thankfully the anesthesiologist talked to me the entire time or I would have been crying throughout the surgery. Recovery was tough on me and it was very painful. But my wonderful doctor is confident it was successful and after almost 2 months, it looks great. But we've still had our share of scary moments, including a trip to the emergency room a few weeks ago.
I won't get into tremendous detail, but I was having very similar symptoms to what I had when we lost the baby last year. Thankfully, all is all right and the babies are perfectly fine. I have what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage. It's common and I've had a couple throughout the pregnancy. But this one was dangerously close to one of the placentas and it was causing a lot of bleeding and cramping. So....I've been on bed rest since then (I'm in my 4th week of bed rest now). And thankfully it's working because it seems as though the bleed is either too small to see or it's gone. YAY!
So, I am still terrified that something will happen to prevent me from bringing home my babies. But I don't know if that will go away until I actually bring them home. All I can do is think positively, continue to pray and take care of myself. And that's what I'm doing. I feel like all of this has to be meant to be. To find out we're pregnant the day before the anniversary? And then to find out it's two? It's all too much to be a coincidence. I have to believe it's happening this time and everything we went through is behind us.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
We are family
Last night I had some running to do but didn’t want to do it in the sultry weather. I choose the word ‘sultry’ because the morning weatherman on NBC4 (Tom Kierien) uses that word. I enjoy that word a lot but I think it’s weird that he uses it to describe the weather in the morning. It’s more of an evening weather word. Anyway...
I was watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 while I was running. I had 8 miles to do, so I ended up watching close to 3 episodes. That show is hysterical. If you don’t know what it’s about, this couple (Jon and Kate) had twin daughters and then, when they were trying for ONE more baby, they ended up with 6. So, now they have 8 children. Could you imagine? I know they gets lots of help and a lot of things are donated, but at the end of the day they still have 8 children.
The episodes I watched were the ones where the older twin girls start taking music lessons, the one where they all go to Sesame Place (an amusement park like Disney only with a Sesame Street theme), and the one where they go to the Crayola Factory. The music lessons one was boring, but the other two, whew! Could you imagine going to a theme park with 8 children? They had a nanny help them when they went to Sesame Place, but still. That’s an awful lot of work. We haven’t even tried to bring Keller to a theme park yet because I’m afraid of how it would go. I guess I should suck it up because I saw the episode where the family went to Disneyworld, and now they went to Sesame Place. Jon and Kate, you’re making it hard on the rest of us!
Maybe John and I should have sextuplets so we can have lots of help and a TV show. I can't even joke about something like that.
I was watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 while I was running. I had 8 miles to do, so I ended up watching close to 3 episodes. That show is hysterical. If you don’t know what it’s about, this couple (Jon and Kate) had twin daughters and then, when they were trying for ONE more baby, they ended up with 6. So, now they have 8 children. Could you imagine? I know they gets lots of help and a lot of things are donated, but at the end of the day they still have 8 children.
The episodes I watched were the ones where the older twin girls start taking music lessons, the one where they all go to Sesame Place (an amusement park like Disney only with a Sesame Street theme), and the one where they go to the Crayola Factory. The music lessons one was boring, but the other two, whew! Could you imagine going to a theme park with 8 children? They had a nanny help them when they went to Sesame Place, but still. That’s an awful lot of work. We haven’t even tried to bring Keller to a theme park yet because I’m afraid of how it would go. I guess I should suck it up because I saw the episode where the family went to Disneyworld, and now they went to Sesame Place. Jon and Kate, you’re making it hard on the rest of us!
Maybe John and I should have sextuplets so we can have lots of help and a TV show. I can't even joke about something like that.
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