It's a Beautiful Day

It’s Friday!

This week has just been a big poop-fest. I have had a lot of stuff go down at work and it has just ruined the week. I will not get into it, in fact, I never will talk about work here on my blog, but let’s just say I’m not pleased, I’d like things to be different, and that’s that. But I'm still down about the race over the weekend, as well as Keller's evaluation next week, moving him to the new school, blah blah blah.

I have to say, though, that I am feeling better than I was at the beginning of the week. I just feel like, when things are not right for me, I just disconnect myself from the world. And let’s face it, things have been down right shitty for us this year. And just when I think things are looking up, WHAM! Something else comes along.

Last night my book club met to discuss the latest book read: The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death by Laurie Notaro. Um, hilarious! Seriously, that was a funny book. Anyway, our book club is really just an excuse to get together and eat. We discuss the book for a short time, but for the most part, it’s just a gathering of friends. Which I’m all for.

Last night was no different. And it was greatly needed. It was at Melissa’s house, and it was just a small number of us (Mary, Holly, Melissa and myself). And the three of them are so sweet, they had a little pre-birthday celebration for me since Melissa will be out of town for my actual birthday next week (it’s the 7th for those of you that still need to shop. Get on it!). Anyway, we had cake and wine and these interesting beer margaritas that Melissa made. They were yummy. And I am fully convinced that all you need to get through a bad time is a group of great friends. We were all so frazzled and emotionally spent last night, but just sitting there talking things out and being there for one another made us realize that we’re never alone in the things we go through and we always have each other to lean on. It’s really wonderful and I’m so grateful. So, ladies, thank you for making me feel special. It was greatly needed and appreciated.

So, now it’s onto the weekend! Yay! We don’t have any plans, other than the usual training for our respective races. Maybe we will actually watch a movie or something.

Dazed and Confused

I'm tired.

On the way into work this morning, about 800 blog topics were popping in my head. It's not that I have so much to say, it's more like fleeting thoughts that I should write down because I bet other people have them too.

Like, have you ever eaten a meal that left you so satisfied afterwards? Generally, I'm a pretty healthy eater. I try to eat as well as I can. But sometimes I just need something bad for me. I stopped at Chick-fil-A on the way to work for breakfast. Have I told you how great their breakfasts are? Well, this morning I had chicken and cheese on a multi-grain bagel. YUM! I mean, really YUM! I was so happy afterwards. Who knew chicken for breakfast could be so good?

Another thought: Sometimes you just have to say, "screw it" and go shopping. I was so down yesterday with everything that is going on that I just went to DSW and bought shoes. I wouldn't say I have a shoe fetish, but I really like having a lot of shoes. It comforts me for some reason. I just like having options. We could go on an overnight trip and I'll bring 4 pairs of shoes with me. You never know what kind of shoes a situation calls for. You need to be prepared.

Another thought: Sleeping on the couch with the TV on does not allow for a restful night. Last night, I had my book club and got home around 11 or so. I wasn't sleepy yet, surprisingly, so I sat on the couch to watch TV. Well, I fell asleep. I kept waking up to strange TV throughout the night. Who knew Access Hollywood was on at 3:00 in the morning? I woke up to some story about Brad Pitt's new tattoo that Angelina drew. I thought I was dreaming. So I starting wondering why I was dreaming about Brad Pitt and tattoos before I realized it was the TV. It was really weird. You'd think I'd go up to bed, or at least turn the TV off. No. I just rolled around a little and went back to sleep only to wake up to the Early Today show. Why do news people deliver the news as if the world is about to end? Oh, the drama! Really, if I was a foreigner here in the US watching the news, I would think the world was about to end with the way the news people tell horror story after horror story. There has got to be some good news out there somewhere.

We are traveling yet again tonight. We're going back to Williamsburg for our niece's high school graduation tomorrow morning. I'm thinking we should just sell the house and everything in it and live in our car with the amount of time we've been in it lately.

The Bus

So, I live in Germantown and work in Bethesda. The commute truly sucks, so I take a bus to work just about everyday (Shout out Bus Route 70). I never thought of myself as a public transportation kind of person, and certainly not a bus. But I actually like it. I like it for several reasons:

1. I don't have to drive and deal with traffic.
2. I can close my eyes for an extended period of time, which is something you shouldn't do when you drive.
3. I can read, which is also something you shouldn't do while driving.
4. It's cheap cheap compared to driving. Driving: gas + parking = ~$13 a day. Bus: fare = $2.70 a day. Come on.
5. Did I mention no traffic?

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my car (especially my NEW car!) and I love the freedom and all that. But I also love not spending a lot of money on getting to work everyday and the numerous other reasons.

Why am I talking about this? Well, for some reason I have all my revelations on the bus. The bus became the place where I would do all of my thinking and soul searching. It was 30 minutes of uninterrupted reflection, I guess. While it was welcomed reflection most of the time, in the month after my grandmother passed away, the bus ride after work was always terribly depressing. I'd find myself getting terribly upset, even crying, on the ride home. I don't know why, it was weird. The bus does weird things. But, thankfully, that has passed.

This morning's bus ride was no different than usual. I read my book for book club, which I happened to finish about half-way through the bus ride. Which left about 15 minutes of reflection. The book I read, Love Walked In, by Marisa de los Santos, was really good. I loved it. It was sweet and sappy and predictable. The story ended with everything tied up neatly with a shiny, red bow. Sometimes that's what you need, which is pretty much where I am right now. But, what I didn't expect was the thought-provoking-ness of it. There was a little paragraph towards the end of the book (Spoiler alert for those of you reading that are in my book club), where the main character, Cornelia, is discussing the meaning of life. Well, as you know from the title of my blog, the meaning of life is always on the forefront of my mind. Cornelia explains how she used to think the meaning of life, that "real life," was the process of achieving what your heart desired, whether it was love, career, money, etc. It wasn't necessarily the actual desires themselves, but rather the process of getting them. This hit home for me because I have always felt that life was supposed to be some quest for the always-elusive brass ring. You go through life striving for something better than what you have now. What that "something better" is, I don't know. I'd know it when I found it. Then I'd want something better than that. Cornelia goes on to explain how she realized that knowing what is important to you, or what your heart desires, is really what life is about. Not the pursuit of the desire, but the desire itself. That's it! That's the meaning of life right there.

What is my heart's desire? A great husband (check); a beautiful, healthy child (check); a wonderful, loving family (check); kick-ass friends that care about me and I care about (check); a home that I love coming home to (check); and so forth. I'm not trying to say, "Hey, look at me. I'm GREAT!" Far from it. I just think it's time to actually appreciate what I have in life instead of always striving for something more. There are lots of things I wish were better, such as not having to worry about paying bills and increasing gas prices and global warming and bathing suit season (all of which scare the crap out of me). But I will try not to think about those things all the time and focus on the things I do love and don't have to worry about all the time.

So, for today anyway, I will love everything and everyone. I will try to appreciate things because I have the ability to. I will appreciate the fact that I have a job, instead of grumbling about my boss not even waiting for me to sit down at my desk when I arrive before telling me all the things I need to get done. I will appreciate the fact that I can run instead of being upset that my race went badly this past weekend. And so forth.

Wow, all of this in just a 30 minute bus ride!

I hope everyone has a great day!