Saturday, October 3, 2009

Stand in the Rain

This week has been pretty tough for me. Nothing happened, there wasn't a moment that made it all come crashing down. It was just a bad week.

I don't really have a mechanism for getting through tough times anymore. This experience of losing our child has stripped me of that capability. Yes, I'm surviving and carrying on, but it's not the same as living. I don't really know how to be truly happy anymore, to feel the light inside, to want to see what the day brings.

In the past, I've turned to other people who have gone through heartache to hear their words, to try to understand that through their example, maybe I can get through my trouble too. I've turned to Molly Barker, Founder of Girls on the Run, to read her words and through her find some strength. So, this morning, I turn to her again and I've spent the majority of this morning reading her blog. Molly is truly an amazing person. She has been through so much in her life, and somehow has found the strength and courage to not only pull herself back up onto her feet, but start an amazing organization that helps girls (and women) do the same.

Girls on the Run started back up here 3 weeks ago. I'm lucky enough to be coaching over at Ronald McNair this season. We have an amazing group of 12 girls. They come to each session with excitement in their eyes. And through them, I feel excited. I feel alive when I'm with them. I know that I can be myself and not be afraid of judgment, because we're all in the same boat. We're all just doing our thing.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just typing words. I guess what I'm saying is that reading Molly's words and being a part of Girls on the Run is a wonderful way to get through tough times. It helps me feel a little stronger. I'm really looking forward to Tuesday morning, when we meet again.


Molly said...

Hey Jenn. What do I say? what CAN I say? My first inclination is to say thank you for your kind words...but then I realize that we really ARE all in this boat together and the best I can offer the world...the VERY BEST is myself...just as I am, right here and right now.

Looks to me like you are doing the same and therefore, an inspiration not only to me but many others.

Right on sister. RIGHT ON!

Jenn said...

Hi Molly!

Thanks so much for your kind and supportive words. They do mean so much. I'll definitely think of them when I need a bit of strength. I've never once thought of myself as an inspiration to anyone, but I do hope that by sharing my experiences, and sharing myself, I'll be able to help someone else.

Take care,