I wasn't sure if I should write about my grandmother on this blog. I didn't want to make it all sad. But this is a blog about what's important in my life and she certainly was.
Today marks one month since she passed away. It has really been a tough month for all of us. We all knew this moment would come sooner or later, but you can never really fully prepare for it.
I just feel lost. My grandmother was really the glue of our family. Everything we did as a family was because of her. Really. She was the reason why we got together most of the time. Granted, we wanted to see other members of the family as well, but everything was planned and carried out according to my grandmother.
I cannot even imagine how the holidays will be now without her. She was such a presence. She was the only grandmother I knew that could hold her own in a political discussion. She tried her best to understand everything in our lives. When I was in graduate school, she told me she looked up "epidemiology" in the dictionary so she would know what I was studying. What grandmother does that?
There was never any question about how she felt about us. We all felt her love, everyday. I still feel it even though she's gone. When I look in the mirror, I see her. I share her name. I know she will always be a part of me. When I look at Keller, I can see her in his little face. She will always be a part of our lives.
Tonight marks the second night of Keller sleeping in a big boy bed. We converted his crib into a bed last night. He was pretty excited about it. He went right in and slept like a log.
This morning he woke up and played for a little while. He sleeps with his door closed, so when he was ready he banged on the door and asked for us to come in. We went in to see how the night went. He was in a great mood. He said he slept well in "Keller's big boy bed."
Normally, while John gets ready for work in the morning, Keller is in his room playing and watching Elmo. This morning, John said Keller was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching Elmo and thoroughly enjoying himself.
Tonight, Keller went into his bed with no problems. He's currently singing "Old MacDonald" as I write this. But he seems happy and we're very hopeful that he will transition smoothly to his new sleeping arrangements.
UPDATE: Ok, so maybe all is not completely well. An hour after we put him to sleep, he was still up and crying. I had to go in there and give him some love. He was cold (I gave him another blanket), he wanted the light on (I turned the light in the hallway on), he wanted me to sit with him, so I did. I sat for a little while and then left him to go to sleep. I hope he does! I really hope this doesn't happen every night!
Today was Pike's Peek. I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised with how this race went.
This week was pretty rough. Work was busy, Keller was demanding, and then I got sick later in the week. I had been having allergy problems all week. Actually for the last two weeks or so. But my stomach starting acting up Friday. I felt really nauseous and I thought I had come down with the stomach virus that has been going around. Thankfully, I never got physically sick. But I was definitely worried about the race on Sunday.
We spent most of Saturday shopping. My stomach finally settled and I was feeling much better. So we went shopping! We went up to the Hagerstown outlets to drop some cash. And we did. We got caught in a terrible thunderstorm on the way home. It was pretty scary. But we made it and all was well.
Race morning, I felt pretty good. I didn't really sleep all that well. Keller had woken up around 2 AM and needed some love. Thankfully I was able to fall back to sleep. When I finally got up, I got ready, had my mini bagel and peanut butter and a banana, and headed out.
It was pretty chilly when I got to the race start. But it was a good chilly. I knew it wouldn't be too warm. I bumped into a few friends, which is always nice. I saw my coach, Mike, which I didn't know I would. He gave me few words of advice for the race and then I was off to warm up.
After I warmed up, I was walking towards the race start and ran into my friend, Sarah, from Mom's Club and Girls on the Run. We hadn't seen each other in a while, so we caught up before the race started. We decided to run together since we were both trying to run the same pace.
Once the race started, I was feeling pretty good. The course is relatively down hill, though there are definitely some hills they don't tell you about. But overall, I was pretty happy with how the race went. Especially the post-race kisses from Keller! Most of all, I'm pretty happy with my time. I ran a 51:44, which is about an 8:19 minute mile. I was pretty excited when I finished. I definitely felt like I was working and I was running hard. I was happy that my stomach never acted up and my body felt good as well. Considering I have a marathon to do next Sunday, I was definitely concerned about hurting myself.
It looks like with the work set out for me this summer, I have a good shot at qualifying for Boston. I believe I have to run an 8:25/mile marathon to qualify, so we'll see. I feel confident and I think I'll at least either break 4 hours or be close to it. We'll see...
I started this blog for some reason, though now I'm wondering why. What do people generally write in their blogs? Is it like a diary? Should I begin each post with "Dear Diary..."? I guess I'll just do what I do best...blab.
I made the stupid decision to try and qualify for the Boston Marathon. I'm hiring a good friend, and fellow RRCA Running Coach, Mike Broderick (check him out here), to train me over the summer so I can run the Chicago Marathon and qualify for Boston. I'm taking the summer off from coaching running groups through Fleet Feet Sports (of Gaithersburg!) and will focus on my training.
Am I nuts? Why did I think this was a good idea? I haven't even started yet and I'm already nervous about it. I have a race this weekend (a 10K) that Mike wants me to "race" so we can determine what my training paces should be. I haven't raced since high school. That was a long time ago. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. I feel like if I'm too slow, Mike won't want to coach me.
Before I can start training for Chicago, I am finishing up my current training group. I'm coaching a group to run the Frederick Marathon and Half Marathon on May 4th. That's in 9 days. I'm excited for them. For most, this is their first marathon or half, depending on who you're asking. They're so nervous, it's cute. I remember being so nervous for my first marathon. I'm really glad to be a part of everyone's goal. It's nice to know I helped them.
In addition to all this craziness of running Frederick and then trying to qualify for Boston, I'm also trying to become a certified yoga instructor. My original training program was postponed, so now I'm going to take it in bits and pieces throughout the summer and fall, and into next year. But I'm hoping to hold a class sometime over the summer. I think it will be so much fun!
In true stream-of-consciousness fashion, I'm now changing the subject completely to Keller. He's two and a half going on teenager. This morning he was playing on the floor and I got down there with him. He told me to leave him alone and "go do something." Can you believe this? What is he going to do when he's 16? He'll probably have burnt the house down by then, so it won't matter.
Welcome to my new blog. I don't really know why I decided to keep a blog. I don't know if I really have anything that interesting to write about. But I guess it gives me something to do when I'm bored.