In Limbo

I hate this feeling.

I feel like I'm in limbo in so many ways. With the impending move, there are so many things we can't do until we're actually there (like enroll Keller in school, which is a big one). But it's more than the move. I feel like my life is in limbo too.

When we were expecting the twins, we were definitely in limbo. I couldn't do anything being on bed rest and we just didn't know what to expect with regard to taking care of them and how our new family dynamic would play out. But I thought the feeling of being in-between-things would go away once they arrived. Now that we're almost 3 months post-pregnancy, the feelings haven't gone away. There are so many times I have to tell myself "when the babies are older," or "once we're settled in the new place." I hate it.

The most upsetting has been trying to get back into running. It has been so hard to find the time, let alone the energy, to get a run in. So, I just feel gross. I can't lose the remainder of the baby weight, I feel sluggish and just plain disgusting. The babies are sleeping longer at night, so maybe that will make a difference for me. But the thing is, I'm working so hard to get the house ready and pack, in between taking care of the girls, Keller, everyday tasks and still working. I'm exhausted and the last thing I want to do is wake up early to run. Trust me, as a coach, I know all the little things to try to get myself motivated and back on track. The problem is I just feel overtaxed. It's important for me to be good to my body right now since it's been through so much in the last couple of years. I know getting back into shape will make a huge difference in how I feel. I guess I'm just finding it hard to balance taking care of everything I need to do and taking care of myself.

No words of wisdom from me today. Just needed to vent...